If you've ever looked up one day and realized the path you were on isn't there anymore, this is for you.
Maybe nothing dramatic happened. You kept showing up for your team, your family and everyone who counts on you. And somewhere along the way, the path got covered over.
I see this often in my coaching, and I've lived it. So I want to share how I think about coaching, and why I call it a clearing.
The picture I come back to
This is the picture I reach for whenever someone asks me what coaching is. People see themselves in it before I explain a word:
Life is like walking a path through a forest, a living ecosystem, and that path needs occasional tending. Left unattended, the path gets covered with overgrowth until it is no longer a path, and suddenly you are disoriented. Coaching is like stepping into a clearing in that forest. Not to be rescued, but to get reoriented and create a new, clearer path forward.
Every part of that picture means something.
Tending. This is where your health and well-being live: sleep, movement, how you cope with stress, the people you're close to. A path doesn't need fixing. It needs tending, a little at a time.
Overgrowth. Years of obligations and striving. Saying yes to everyone. Putting your own needs last. Spinning plates. Pushing through exhaustion for months because there's never a good time to stop. These things grow over the path and take a toll.
One day you realize. It's rarely one dramatic moment. You look up and wonder if this is all there is. Maybe you're facing a decision you've been putting off. Maybe health symptoms are getting harder to ignore, or you're longing for better years ahead. And the path isn't there anymore.
Not to be rescued. You're capable. You're a little uncertain, and that happens to capable people all the time.
Reorient. In a clearing, there's room to look around. You can see where you've been, and you get to craft and choose your direction from here.
Why a clearing, and not more advice
Most of the professionals I coach aren't short on advice. They've read the books, saved the posts and asked their friends what they would do. Advice tells you what worked for someone else, seen through their own lens. It can't tell you what fits you.
When you hear advice, your first reaction is usually a quick check: Can I do this? Do I want to? Do I even have time? If the answer is no, the advice gets filed away, and often it turns into one more thing you "should" be doing. That can feel like a motivation problem. More often, it's a fit problem: the advice was built around someone else's life. People tend to follow through on what they choose for themselves.
In a clearing, I don't hand you a plan. I ask the questions that help you define who you want to be next. That sounds lofty, but it's practical: what you'd invite more of and what you'd let go of, where you want your energy to go, and what you'd like an ordinary weekday to feel like. Then we work out how to get there, build your direction together and test it in real life.
Some people tell me they haven't made a change, or talked to a coach, because they don't want to let themselves or anyone else down if they can't stay disciplined. But the clearing is about what comes before discipline or motivation: getting clear on what matters to you. Both tend to follow once you know what you're moving toward.
What happens in the clearing
First, we get clear on what matters most to you. Not to your boss or your family, though they matter too. When you know your values, a hard decision has something to weigh against.
Then we look at your strengths. Many of us spent years being known for a title. Your strengths can carry you through a change in a way a title can't. Exploring character strengths is where I see people redefine what's possible. Appreciating their personal, natural strengths shines a light on new directions to use them in.
Then, instead of one leap, we design a few short, low-risk "experiments." That might be one conversation with someone already doing what you're curious about, testing out a new habit, a weekend project, or a few hours a week getting a feel for what that next chapter might look like. Each one builds confidence.
What opens up is different for everyone. Some people find strengths they'd stopped paying attention to or had buried. Some finally let themselves savor life instead of chasing the next thing. Some get clear on what matters most today (their priorities) and spend energy there.
I went first
This idea didn't come from a textbook. I looked up one day and realized my own path was overgrown. I was functionally burned out, not tending to my relationships and not using my natural talents. My mind and body were exhausted. I was getting older, things were changing physically, and I had no routine for taking care of myself the way I wanted to. I missed using my own agency for the things that mattered to me.
Then someone asked me a question I still think about: "Can you heal where you are?" It was the first time I admitted that I needed to care for myself differently, and that I needed to make some changes to my path.
What worked for me was going back to basics. I re-evaluated my values, my strengths and my health to get clear on my priorities for this next chapter. I started with what I know best: a back-to-basics fitness plan I designed for myself.
Then I asked for guidance from experienced coaches and mentors, some volunteer and some paid, in entrepreneurship, wellness, career, life transitions and burnout. Sharing my goals with them gave me a different, more realistic perspective on the plan I was building, one I couldn't have gotten from a friend, a family member or online content.
I'd also been carrying a dream for ten years: a coaching practice of my own. It always felt like the wrong time. At the one-year anniversary of launching Priority Self, I can tell you that sitting with the what-ifs was harder than starting.
If this sounds familiar
Overgrowth happens because we keep showing up, for work, for family, for everyone who counts on us. But if we never step into a clearing for ourselves, the tending doesn't happen.
Whether you're already in your next chapter or thinking about starting a new one, you don't have to wait for everything else to change before you choose your direction.
The real question usually isn't "Am I ready?" It's "What am I curious enough to try?"
Does the overgrown path sound familiar? I'd be interested to know whether this resonates with you. Let me know in the comments or at Lisa@priorityself.com.
Lisa Shubin, MS, NBC-HWC, ACSM-EP · Next Chapter Coach · Priority Self